5 Things Girls Do That I Don’t Understand

You can try to convince me all day that women are easier to understand than men, but it’s never going to be true.
Women over complicate men because they assume they function the way we do. Fortunately, they don’t. If you ask a guy what he’s thinking, he’ll probably just tell you. Unlike women, “nothing” actually means “nothing”. If they say they’re not angry, they’re not angry. It’s pretty simple, really.

That being said, here are a few things women do that I simply don’t understand. Maybe you can enlighten me.

  • Go to the bathroom together
    I kicked this off with a cliché subject, but I really don’t get it. Unless you actually need to use the restroom at the same time, you’re trying to escape an awkward situation or you want to talk about someone behind their back, why would you go together? 8 times out of 10, I follow a friend into the bathroom, scroll around on my phone until she’s done with her business, then head back to the group. Pointless.
  • Join Pinterest
    Okay, I sort of understand this. If you are really into crafty stuff or finding new recipes… and I even understand it to get wedding ideas, but why would I want to pin a funny picture? Why would I pin nail polish? What’s the point? Maybe I don’t fully understand what Pinterest is. (In fairness, I did request an invite so I could try it out myself. However, I think it’s stupid I have to be invited and I can’t just sign up. Is that supposed to make it seem exclusive?)
  • Wear summer clothes in the winter
    I was actually discussing this with my male co-worker today. Wearing a mini-skirt in January isn’t sexy. You just look like an idiot.. a cold idiot. And no, wearing a scarf with it doesn’t make it okay. Buy some pants.
  • Think it’s okay to destroy things if they feel wronged
    It never ceases to amaze me how widely this is accepted. There are countless songs about the subject of women destroying a man’s things because he’s cheated on her. How is that okay? What does it accomplish? You know he could press charges, right? Moron. How about you do something useful and leave him. Go find someone better. Take care of you. If he’s as bad as you think, he’ll get his. (I say all of this as a girl who’s been cheated on multiple times.)
    I think it’s also important to mention that when this plays out in real life, the girl usually destroys a guy’s belongings because she has a hunch she’s been wronged. It’s not based on actual fact.
  • Tell asinine stories
    Maybe your story has a valid point, but he’s never going to hear it because women drone on and on about drivel. Trust me, he doesn’t care what shoes Sally had on or the back story of your boss’ cousin. Cut to the freaking chase already! I can tell you for certain that when you call a guy and the only words he can get out are, “Hey, what’s up?” before you start your rambling, he’s not paying you much attention. The smart ones have figured out the fine art of selective hearing and appropriate responses while engaging in video games, watching sports, taking a dump and so on and so forth. Keep your stories concise and the advice he offers will be much more sincere.
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