Pardon my three month hiatus. With a full schedule and a broken laptop, my blog time has dwindled to nothing.
When I wrote last I was beginning my 90 Day Challenge – three months later and I’m still in the middle of things. You see, “90 days” actually means 90 sessions… I’m not sure if I’ve hit that yet, but it doesn’t really matter. Carey has committed to stick with me until I reach my goal – 17% body fat. If you’re like me, you have no idea what that really means, but I’m told 25% is average. We have yet to do a second weigh in or BMI test, so I can’t even really tell you where I am as far as progress is concerned, but Carey will be reviewing my fit test next week. I’ve got my fingers crossed that the results will be good.
All I can tell you for sure is that I am light years from where I began. Three months and I feel like a completely different person, like when you look at your high school pictures and think, “Man, that was a lifetime ago!” While the things I was struggling with when I walked into her office still peek their ugly heads up on occasion, they mostly stay away these days. I’m far more confident, happy and optimistic than I’ve been in years.
I know my body is improving, but that’s not where these things stem from. As cliche as it sounds, the old “looks don’t matter” thing is mostly true. I won’t deny that looks can get you places in life, but the things you can achieve through looks are temporary and superficial. You’ll never find peace until you can accept who you are – the good and the bad. That’s what I’m coming to realize through this process. No matter how beat down you are, there is good in you. When you see the bad things, take steps to change them. It won’t happen overnight, but that’s okay. Any step forward, no matter how minor, is not moving back. Rejoice in your little victories. Find friends who truly love you. Demand respect that you deserve.
I won’t sit here and tell you I’ve got it figured out. I still have people point out things I still need to work on or behaviors that need to change, but I’m getting there. I’m moving forward.
Enough with that business…
Training is tough. I mostly go in the mornings and if you know me, you know how much I despise mornings. Still, I make my way across town to the gym about three times a week. Carey takes sick pleasure in watching me sweat. I think it’s a trainer thing. Still, she’s been fantastic at pushing me, providing me with supplements and nutritional knowledge and making sure I’m growing mentally and spiritually. I cannot thank her enough for this opportunity. We’re reaching the point where I’ll start being filmed as part of the story that Carey is writing on me. Let’s hope the camera doesn’t really add ten pounds!
I see changes in my body, not just in the way it looks, but the way it feels. And honestly, things haven’t been picture perfect. I’ve “fallen off the wagon.” Not following the program that Carey has laid out for me – eating poorly, not doing my cardio, not tracking my food – but with seven months left for me to hit the goal that I set for myself long before Carey was in the picture, it’s time to get serious. While it’s nice to have someone pushing you, they can’t do the work for you. In the long run, you’ve got to do it for yourself. I’ve hit the point that I have to ask, “How badly do you want this?” And I want it.
I want it bad.