It’s the Most Horrific Time of the Year

Freddy

I really love thinking about Halloween, but the actual follow through… not so much. It’s a holiday tailored for skinny ladies, sluts, and/or creative people. I do not fall into any of these categories. For years, I got away with just wearing whatever I felt like, then splattering it with homemade blood. But how long can you really get away with calling yourself a zombie (fill in the blank)?

In 2012 I finally moved away from the blood and bought my first real costume ever – sexy Freddy Kruger… which on me was more like the world’s friendliest, not-at-all-sexy Freddy Kruger. (See above.) It was quick and easy, fairly comfortable, and virtually stress free. Plus I found the costume on clearance, so it only set me back about $20. Oh, and I got to be Freddy Freakin’ Kruger – my favorite horror icon. 2012 was an all around Halloween win.
2013, meh. I threw on some black and my friend loaned me his ginormous butterfly wings.

With 2014’s party just a couple weeks away, the search is on once again for a suitable costume. It should also be noted that my annual Halloween party is thrown by one of the most artistically gifted people I’ve ever met and he hand makes his costumes every year. So no pressure.

Here are a few options I’m considering:

Chucky

This costume is far too slutty for me, but with some changes, I could definitely make this work. Overalls, a striped shirt, red shoes, a wig, and an axe. Not too difficult. Plus I could do some stellar makeup and use blood splatter without being a zombie. I really like blood splatter.

Wednesday Addams

Nothing too creative here, but with a few alterations to a black dress I already own, I could be Wednesday – a character that I absolutely love. The question is, do I possess the skills to alter my black dress? 50/50 chance. Actually, 30/70 probably. I doubt it. But maybe I could enlist some help.

Daenerys 

Is this going to happen? No. Do I want to happen? Heck yes! Who wouldn’t want to be the Mother of Dragons? Unfortunately buying it is out of my price range and making it is too difficult/costly. But look how comfortable it would be!

Jem

I look at this costume every year because Jem is my childhood hero. It’s just SO pink! And while that was cool with childhood Rachael, adult Rachael isn’t too keen on dressing head to toe in hot pink. Still, one day I will pull the trigger on this because Jem is awesome.Remember that in 2016 when they release that abomination of a movie.

Orange is the New Black Inmate

Easiest, most comfortable costume ever. It seems like a cop out though. I’d also have to decide if I’m Morello or Alex… or more realistic for my figure, Big Boo. Life is full of hard decisions.

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